Nightmare discovery!

So…I have been submitting the first 25-30 pages of my book to Literary Agents and book review bloggers for months now. I have been shot down every single time. Then a friend introduced me to the app Radish and informed me that if they approve of my writing, they will permit me to publish chapter by chapter my next book through them and they pay me for the submissions.

So…of course…I jump on the idea. Pull up my PDF of ‘Building Neverland-Pan Rising’ and get to work pulling out 30 or so pages to put into PDF format to submit to Radish as an example of my previous work. Then, to my increasing horror…I see it. Spelling errors…grammatical errors…in every paragraph…on every page…over and over and over again. The more I read the more mortified I became. Things didn’t make sense in places, much of my dialogue choices were…subpar so to speak, and there was even an unfortunate paragraph that simply repeated the same sentence over and over again.

So…another realization occurs to me in that moment, and I run to the box of books, my book, published and printed…the very same book that all of my family, friends and strangers have purchased and read…that I had been submitting to these agents and book review bloggers…that is not only in all of the major online stores but in almost every online store available around the world including a physical Barnes and Noble’s right down the road from me…was also not edited for these mistakes. I paid for editing but the thing was…when they showed me the results of their work, for some reason (perhaps too grief-stricken by the recent loss of my mother to use my brain) I did not double-check the work. So…they published it as is.

So…I have decided to do a full re-write and deep edit of the entire book and I am going to resubmit it to Amazon. I can’t do anything about the version the publishing company put out there now…I can’t even get my money back because in the end it really wasn’t their fault. I am going to start from the ground up on the book and try to do right by it. Which includes as drastic a lowering of the price as Amazon will permit me to do. I can’t even tell my friends and family about this. I’m very embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I don’t know how I let this happen. Now, all I can do is hope the deep re-write I did of the first 30 pages that were submitted to Radish will impress them just enough to give me the chance to try this again.

Wish me luck.

LGBTQA+, POC, and Feminism incorporation within literature

As a trans-male it is important to me to see trans characters in media and literature. I am not only outspokenly apart of LGBTAQ+ but also passionate about POC rights and feminism.
So, I place such in my book. It is important to me (and many others) that such groups have some representation in media and the literary world. Even if my book never takes off, I tried.

Googling my book

I wonder if it’s common for most newly published authors to consistently google their book over and over again in every possible variation and if they do, does it help or just stress you out more?
I find it stresses me out but it’s very hard to stop myself from doing it. I almost always find something new concerning it (though nothing really over much worth at this time) and so I keep searching and searching and searching.
Is that common I wonder? Do you do that, fellow author reading this? How does it make you feel each time you do it?

The terrifying world of the book review bloggers

So I’m at that phase in my journey towards getting my book out there into the world and seen/read by as many as I can possibly reach. So far this venture of mine has me shaken. Having to wade through the many return e-mails telling me my book looks “great” but they are not interested in it and wish me the best of luck. Some even telling me how to google ‘free book reviews’ when that’s how I found them in the first place. No explanation given as to why there is no interest so my spirits are a bit low.
Reading these book review blogger pages is terrifying. The books they tend to give their highest scores and best reviews to are typically these really intimidating stories written by foreign authors or personal memoirs of a struggle I know nothing about. I feel like I’m wasting everybody’s time and maybe I should just bury this dream.
But…until I’ve done absolutely everything I possibly can to give it the only chance it seems to have, I keep going. It’s always risky when you put a piece of your soul into something and then show it to the world.
Hopes high, expectations…low. Onward to do this for another day. I hope tomorrow is kind to me.

Youtube video featuring reddit writing of mine

Mine is the story about the teacher (Ms. Brown) and my bad experience being her student. My reddit account name is WhatAJoy85. Story begins at 7:15 and ends about 9:30.

Advertising is tough!

I thought I had some basic grasp on what I would need to do to get my book out there and noticed but dang, this is a lot to deal with! It’s worth it though. Never stop fighting!


As a writer I find music to be the most inspiring tool. Frequently, I’ll put on (via youtube) some Flogging Molly or the like to get into a specific mood and mindset so I can find myself capable of successfully writing a scene. Believe it or not, some songs I find most appropriate for certain scenarios may not (to the outside world) appear very fitting, lol. But whatever gets you in the proper mindset to get the writing done, utilize it. That is my advice to you for today.

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